Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Happy 1st Birthday Ladybug

It is almost Olivia the Ladybug's 1st birthday so I thought I would share part of her birth/life story thus far..yes she is only one so it shall be a short story but none the less an  important one.

Livvy was an unexpected gift to our family,for a while during my pregnancy I would say she was an accident or she was unplanned...but towards the end of my pregnancy I began to see that she was indeed no accident and she was very much planned out by God to enrich our family and grow our hearts. She was a very unexpected gift however and when I found out I was pregnant I went into complete shock and denial.

Yes to say I did not handle it well would be a massive understatment, I was recovering from having my appendix out and had a 4 month old baby, so another pregnancy was the last thing on my mind. However afetr feeling unwell for a few days and realising I was somewhat "late" I decided to take a home pregnancy test..I didn't tell my hubby because I was sure it was going to be negative and the tiredness and constant nausea I was experiencing was simply a stomach bug. However once I peed on the stick and those two lines of a positive test appeared I almost passed out,.then convinced myself it was a false positive...marching out to my husband I announced "well this says I am pregnant" thrusting the test at him. "Wow" was all he said, "I think its a false positive though there is no way I could be pregnant we have a 4 month old  baby". Off to the shops to get another test ( a 2 pack this time) more drinking more pee and yet another positive test!!! "No way" I exclaimmed "not possible". I went into complete denial mode I was a mess refusing to accept that I was indeed pregnant, even after 12 weeks of morning sickness no period and another positive pregnancy test.

Hubby decided he had had enough of my denial and took me to the doctors, after a check over he pulled out his trusty ultra sound machine squirted goo on my tummy and proceeded to show me my little growing ladybug there in my belly, I turn and look at him with the dumbest expression and say "oh so I really am pregnant"... the doctor looked back at me like I was a total dickhead " ummm yes Leesa your very pregnant at least 4 months along" I am sure he must of been thinking I was a total nutbag after all this was my 4th child I should know what pregnancy feels like lol but I had really concinced myself it was a phantom pregnancy and that my uterus would be empty completly devoid of any life...however Miss Olivia had other plans and I was angry how dare this person invade my body I hadn't given her permission to do so.

To say the next 9 months were tough would be a massive understatement..I batteled.. oh did I battle everyone and everything, I hated being pregnant, hated my body, hated God, my husband and as tough as it is to say this now, I hated my unborn baby.  Terrible motion sickness and cronic heartburn and high blood preasure did nothing to enhance my liking for this baby. The only thing gicing me some happiness was knowing that she was a girl (afer 2 boys I was so over blue) so shopping was a happy thing once again as my space got invaded with lots and lots of pink. Physically I continued to feel crappy and to make it worse she was now overdue, and I was very very over it. David had arranged to have 2 weeks off work his holidays were booked in and he was due to finish up work on the would be another 8 days before I could be induced thus in a way he would be "wasting" his paternaty leave because there would be no baby for a week of it, I was convinced bub's would not come on her own I have been induced with all 3 previous pregnancys and expected the same for the 4th.

The night of the 26th I sat on the bottom of the shower floor and sobbed, I sobbed my guts out like I never have before. Handing all my anxiety over to God in prayer I asked for his help...finally...probably should of done that about 8 months prior... but there I was a sobbing mess. I asked for Gods help I felt terrified I was never going to love my child, that she would know I had shown very little interest in her health or growth throughout the pregnancy and she would somehow know this and resent me. I wanted my baby I wanted to love her I just wasn't sure I would, that it would not happen as naturally as it was ment to. I sobbed some more crying a river of tears that had been stored up from the moment I peed on tht first pregnancy test at home. I told God of my need to have this baby soon that I could not wait for another8 days to go by before I could be induced that she needed to come out now,so David could be home with us the entire 2 weeks. I sobbed. until I was so exhusted all I could do was dry off from my shower and fall into bed I felt waves of relief wash over me, knowing that the baby and I were now in Gods hands I could sleep, I slept the sleep of the totally exhusted, but not for very long.

 Around 2am I awoke with a sharp pain through my back, oh great I think more fake labor they continued in and off for a while, "bugger this" I said to myself I got up out of bed went into the lounge room leaving hubby to sleep on. I watched t.v, folded laundry and tidied the kitchen as I breathed through some very minor contrations which were around 5 to 7 minutes apart. Because I had never "gone into labor" on my own before I wasn't even sure if this was the real thing, again I prayed "God if this is really labor give me a sign",...nothing spectacular happened, I went to the loo and there it was " a show" woo hoo I thought I am in labor and I did it all on my own. It was now 4am the pain wasn't bad but I thought I had better wake hubby I told him his daughter was on her way he was up and dressed in a flash...calm down hun she aint here yet I am going to have a shower I announce...David was worried and got me to call the hospital to explain where thing were at, "this is your 4th baby" the midwife says "hhmmm you better come in and let us check you over", darn it I really wanted the shower. So by the time we got a baby sitter and got to the hospital it was just after 5am, I am wisked up to the ward as my contractions start to get a little pinchy I am checked over and it is announced I am 7 and a half cm dialted GO ME!!!  I beg for a shower and the lovely midwife obliges. I labor on in there
for another hour when the midwife does a check on me I beg her "please break my waters once you do the baby will come straight out I know it". She gets a dotor who examines me and agrees it is safe for my waters to be broken.. (just as well as I had even offered the midwife a bribe of money to do it if the doctor says no..nope not kidding!!) I feel sweet relief as my waters break and I know I am on the home stretch. I stand up the midwife says I can deliever the baby this way if thats what I is, I am told to make sure I let them know when bubs is coming cause someone will need to catch her if I am in a standing position. No
problems I am woman, mother and birthing queen at this point I can do anything, with hubby standing in front of me my holding onto his sholders I feel the burning knowing my little princess is on her way out I say she is coming I push and bend down at the same time as her head emerges I reach down and deliever my own baby into my hands she comes wrinkly screamming beautiful life. I bring her up to my chest kissing her as I do so. David cuts the cord and I am ushered onto the bed where I can gaze apon the mirlce in my arms. Olivia Joy Valerie I say as David and I stare in amazement at each other and at our baby who is nuzzling round for a boob to attach to, 15 minutes after she is born she has latched onto my breast and remains there for the next little while.  Photo's are taken phone calls and text messages sent announcing the arrival of our princess,we call home to check on our other children who are all excited about meeting thier sister later on that day. 

 Olivia's birth was one of the most empowering things I have ever done, and although I had given birth to 3 other children her birthing experience remains the most powerful and wonderful one of all. This first year of our little ladybugs life seems to have passed extreamly quickly a fact that doesnot impress me at all. I am wanting to savor every moment with her, the kisses and cuddles the closesness of brestfeeding the joy she brings to my our whole family really. Olivia's name means peace, Joy, means happiness or joy and Valerie means strength, Olivia certainly fits her name, she has bought all these things into my heart and liffe and lives of those around her. 

 Thes past 12 months have come with ups and downs including a short hospital stay for Livvy who has a slightly enlarged heart, but is doing fine with it, lots of sleep issues but also lots of love,her dedication at church, funny moments and loads and loads of fun. I would not of survived this past year without the love and support of a very special person in mine and Olivia's life, her Godmother Megan, who has been an almost constant sorce of love and compassion, Olivia gets very excited and squeals if I say to her where is Aunty Meegs she knows Megan loves her and is always happy to dive into her arms for cuddles. Thank you Megan for taking such an important role in Livvy-bugs life.    

 As Ladybugs birthday draws closer I am reflective of the past and how much of a struggle it was to except she was on the way to join our family, our family seems to be complete now that Livvy is a part of it. I am so thankful and greatful for my happy healthy princess. I cannot imagine life without her except that it would be very incomplete.
 Happy First Birthday my darling I hope you feel spoilt, special and above all very very loved and wanted on your special day. All my love to you sweet baby girl!!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I am a sausage sizzle day helper.

Yesterday was sausage sizzle day at Peter's school and I had put my hand up to be a canteen helper for that morning. I was really nervous about this...why you might ask? Well  my past experience with helping out at Mini's school fundraisers were not very fun. The mothers can be very clicky with one and other and given I didn't know anyone well I was left out not even spoken to by the other mums. So I was hesitant to put my hand up but I really want to be involved with school activitys where posible so I decided to give it another shot. I am so so glad I did!!
 I had a great morning, there were about 8 or so other mum's and the canteen manager we all pitched in together and managed to get over 700 students thier orders of sausage sizzle, chips and a soft drink ready.  My jobs were napkin folder lol I folded 800 napkins in about 15 mins I am so hard core, lol, also I squished cardboard boxes that the drinks where in, I counted out slices of bread and helped divide them up among the lunch order baskets for each grade BOO YEAH!!! 
  Once all the baskets were packed it was delievery time I ofcourse swipped Peter's room basket promptly intent on dropping his basket off and being able to spy on him and maybe blow him a kiss (as he is a prep I can still get away with this I imagine by about grade 2 it wont be cool to have your mum blowing you kisses) however my grand plans were shot down by his Teacher Mrs H who opened the classroom door enough for her to reach out and take the basket from my arms thanking me she began to close the door.. but wait my internal mummy voice was screamming I didn't get to blow my kisses....oohhh I was so cross but I did peek through the window and saw my little man hard at work over his book. I am guessing she didn't want me interupting the classroom flow but gee I really wanted to be able to see my boy and after all it's all about me ...yeah right. 
  I continued on with more delieverys and was done about 20 minutes later. I was thanked several times for my contributions to the morning and I have to say I felt very appreciated and feel as thought I have made some new connections at the school, which is great. I was so worried I would not be even spoken to so to have several mum's not only acknowledge that I was there but engage in conversaton with me was wonderful. I will be raising my hand for helper again at the next "special lunch" and whilst I think canteen duty wont become a "love of my life" I did enjoy my experience and meeting new people.

 A big thanks to my bestie Sue who watched my two little cherubs at home for me so I could focus on what I was doing at school without fussing with 2 babies, Sue even did my dishes what a legendary chickee babe!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Mikey Turns 2

Yesterday was our Little man Mikey's, 2nd birthday. We decided to celebrate with a small
afternoon tea with our family and a couple of close friends..despite our thinking it would be a small event once you add our 4 children, Bestie Meegs 3 boys and our good friends Kat and Andys 2 children your up to 9 children within 3 familys so small goes to big and loud quickly, but also creates lots and lots of fun and laughter.

Mikey had a wonderful morning playing with his new car mat and cars or as he calls it his "road road"  after play time and lunch it was a quick nap before his friends and Nanna L arrived with the birthday cakes she had made for Michael.

After he had awoken from his nap and exclaimed with joy over his Makka Pakka cake, his guests started to arrive and the fun began. Michael had a wonderful time playing with Drew and Justin with his new car garage and dancing to his wiggles dvd from Uncle Adam and Aunty Pam. 
Like most partys the food was a huge hit with the kids and it wasn't long before all the chips lollys and cupcakes were gone and the sasuage rolls and pies were snatched up quickly...the adults needing to move quick in competition with our little ones appetites. 
The adults well.... the male adults got into a discussion about poker and the rules and merits of the game whilst the females chatted about parenting styles schools and tried to resolve the mior disagreement that popped up as 9 children played together.

 Soon enough it was time for cake and singing Happy Birthday which Mikey loved he danced along as we sung to him and gave himself a round of applause shouting hooray it was incredibly sweet. 

The tireds were setting in amounst the kiddies as it hit 4pm and the afternoon tea slowly wound down. We all had a wonderful time and want to thank everyone for coming and for Mieys gifts. He finished the day with a warm bubble bath and then some "tato gems' (potato gems) for dinner. Thanks to those who helped us celebrate our lil mans day and for your birthday wishes.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sue's Birthday Dinner

Yesterday was one of my besties Sue's birthday, we (Meegs and I ) surprised her with a celebration dinner at Stack's,... for those of you who don't know Stacks is the most awesomest pancake place in Melbourne with seriously scrummy foods, it is a fav place of ours so Meegs and I thought it only fitting to have dinner here for Sue's
birthday. Unknown to Sue was that we had invited another good friend of ours along to join our little party and that we had gotten there early with balloons, a birthday banner and a birthday crown to set up a fun party table for her. It was funny watching her reaction as she saw what we had done, Sue pretending to be embarassed was really funny cause she doesn't get shy generally, but watching her hide at the door was hilarious.

 We all had a fab night and it was fun to spoil a terriffic chick who totally deserves it cause she is always spoiling someone else. Some of the birthday loot incuded flowers chocolates and a pretty necklace. As usual the food was amazing and Kat and Sue decided to try a cocktail called a Mad hatter, these were very cool looking and yummy (but strong) tasting drinks. The night was filled with lots of chatter, some wine love and lots and lots of laughter. Love you Sue and we hope you had a great night, we sure did.

 Now here are some things you need to know about Sue:
 Sue talks during movies,.. which I love because I do the same thing and it helps me process what I am watching,...also we just love to talk

She is my eldest son's Godmother, whom he choose for himself and I think it is just awesome to see them together he loves her very much.

She has a very wicked sense of humor and is quick with a quip.

Sue is incredibly generous with her time, helping people out with lifts to the doctors, house cleanning and babysitting whenever she can, all this while working and being a mum to 4 of her own children.

She can order food at the movies using an English accent and not laugh, it's really funny.

Sue is a fun loving, life is for living kind of woman, she is passionate, caring, sensitive (but doesn't cry) loving, generous a wonderful best friend, fantastic mum, woman of God who is someone that I admire respect and love.


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