The loves of my life

Can a 3 year old have an encounter with the divine??

2012-02-05T20:06:00.000+11:00

This post is more of a question then a story but I'm wondering as you can most likely tell by the title of this blog post if it is possible for an almost 3 year old child (in this case my ladybug) to have a true encounter/ experience with God...

You're right you need more information here goes :

I have to assume that most of you know we are a Christian family who attend church every week, we pray as a family and role model for our children (as best we can) (sometimes not so great) how God expects us to live as Christians.

Olivia our youngest daughter who is almost 3 has been attending church since she was one week old, so she is comfortable and accustomed to prayer and praise and worship time within a church service. She even at 2 is always happy to participate in group prayer and loves to sing and dance along with praise music, however recently I noticed during the quieter and more solemn time of musical worship in church Livvy closes her eyes and raises her hands up and sings along to the music. The first time she did this (a few months ago) I assumed she was just mimicking myself or the people around her who were connecting with God, Then I looked at her face not just her actions and she had a look of pure and total joy on her face she was aglow and intent on what she was doing and I was fascinated and have been wondering as she has done this a couple of times now... (not every week but certainly 3 or 4 times over about 3 months) is she really connecting with God or is she mimicking?

Is it possible for a toddler to connect with God In such a way? or any child to have such an experience for that matter?

I realise that to a degree she would be mimicking what she See's around her and I understand that since this is what she is growing up with she would be comfortable with joining in and doing what other people are doing, however it's the look on her face as she closes her eyes and raises her arms that gets me wondering. I guess its hard to explain but there is a gentle softness that comes over her, a calm but sweet joy as she softly songs the words she knows, sometimes she is not singing at all but just appears to be having a quiet moment with God . Am I reading to much into it? Am I just projecting what I want for her.. Which would be to experience the fullness of gods love for her, Or is she truly entering in to worship and connecting with God in a real and personal way?

For now I don't have a definitive answer ( am happy to hear peoples opinions and thoughts but please be respectful in how you express them this is my child and my faith both are precious to me) Like I was saying I don't have a definite answer but I will always encourage all of my children to connect with and encounter God in a way that is personal and meaningful to them. I know he has amazing plans for all 4 of my children and hubby and my desire for them all is to know then Lord and experience daily his love for them as we do. Weather this happens when they are 3 years old or 10 or 15 I don't know, all I can do for now is watch on with joy and pride as they experience and respond to their creator who loves them.

Mathew 19:14 14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

The moment after..

2011-10-15T22:41:00.005+11:00

Hiya, I know it's been a while since my last post and sooo much has happened new house, new church, new school for one of the tribe and most excitedly a new baby boy for my very best friend Meegs. I was honoured and blessed to be asked in to be support for Megan has she birthed her 4th son, a huge privilege to be a witness to baby Eli's entrance into the world... now you may think this is what I am blogging about but you would be wrong! OOohhh don't worry there will be a blog post about Eli's birth but what I wanted to write about was the moments that took place after he was born, things that I experienced that caused me to wonder and question a few thoughts and mind sets I have as a women and in my friendships.

After Eli was birthed and had been snuggled and cuddled by his Mummy and Daddy and received his first breastfeed, Megan requested a shower... and who can blame her, birthing is hard work and we all work up a sweat. I assisted her into the shower and helped her remove what little clothing she had left on. Her body was tired,she had worked hard and thankfully there was a chair in the shower stall.. yay for that says Meegs. We fiddle with the temperature adjusting til a suitable amount of warmth is shooting through the shower head, I help my friend sit in the chair I hitch up the legs on my jeans and wet a washer and stand in front of this amazing women... a woman who has just birthed her 4th child but for the very first time everything was on her terms. No interventions no inductions, just the power of her body doing what it was created to do. I tell her she can lean into me if she likes so she can rest some under the water.. as she does I am filled will a new sense of wonder at the power of friendship. My beautiful friend sitting naked in front of me, resting her head on my breast as I wash her back and do my best to work with the water and soothe her pains, it hits me what a primitive thing it is we are doing, thousands of women have gone before us doing this very same thing supporting each other in birth and after as well. Such an intimate moment between us, a moment that breaks through the simple word of friendship and brings us into sisterhood, Megan laughs and says "well there is no turning back now, you've seen it all" I giggle along with her but then say "there is no way I would want to turn back".. and I mean it. Yes watching Eli's birth was an incredible breath taking experience, as was holding my dear friend as she breathed through her contractions and worked with her body as she did her thing, but for me, the moments after, the moments in the shower where I felt the spirit of so many other women.. so many mothers before us in one of the most natural and raw emotional experiences I have had as a women, that's what I will remember most about that day.

Which begs the question... why oh why are we so fueled by hate for each other? Gossip, jealousy, rivalry, backstabbing and just plain meanness... why do we do this and feel this towards each other? I have asked myself this a lot this past week, when reflecting on the day Eli was born. Why do we feel it necessary to question what other mum's are doing? We don't have to agree with another woman's choice on how she cares for her child, does she breastfeed or not, home school or not, and how could she possibly wear those clothes, no we don't have to agree with those things but how about little respect and understanding, we are all different we are going to do things differently... not wrong just different.

I say this not just to you but ME too.. I do my very best to not gossip because I hate being gossiped about it's hurtful and damaging and 99% of the time gossip gets back to the person anyways so my thoughts are you may as well just tell that person... but I am human and I mess up on this a lot and fall into the gossip trap, I have been guilty of envy and jealousy "why is that person better at that then I am .. I work harder at it I should be the best"... yep its an ugly side of me but it does exists.. but after my experience with Meegs and my emotions getting a workout I want to change the way I view other women, not as rivals but as women, who come with their own set of "stuff" insecurities, issues with their kids or husbands differing views on religious choices parenting etc the list goes on.

If I can have such an intimate fulfilling amazing experience with a friend simply in the act of washing her back, then why can't I have those amazing moments with others.. NOW STOP FREAKING OUT!!! I am not about to go round stalking you in your shower offering to wash you BUT I can simply ask you how your day is and listen with intent and interest as you answer, I can cook you a meal or invite you out for one with me... I can do so many things to enrich the life of many women in my circle of friends and beyond and so can YOU!!.. Next time you feel jealousy towards another women ask yourself whats behind it, why do you feel that way, go and talk to the person be honest about what your feeling, it will be far more rewarding and enriching for you then sitting around bitching about the person. Nope it won't be easy and may be uncomfortable and embarrassing... but for me, I guess I would rather risk some embarrassment and have the blessings that come in the moments after as my relationships grow into a deep level of understanding then just surface level friendships..it has to be worth it... right?

Sleep... my children stole it.

2011-07-12T17:50:00.004+10:00

Sleep, oh how I miss thee ever so much.

My children have stolen from me. Robbed me of a joy I am having trouble remembering.. a little thing called sleep. Gone are the carefree days of sleeping in till 10am on a weekend... now days I consider 6am a sleep in.
My children just wont sleep., which in turn given their ages means I don't get to sleep either. I have 4 children the oldest being 12 has a bed time most nights round 8:30pm she will eventually be asleep by around 11pm and wake at 7am on a school day and attempt to sleep later on the weekends however most of the time her brothers and sister have different plans.

Last week one of our nights was as follows Mini (12) awake until 11pm, Olivia woke at 2am and stayed awake all night, Peter (6) and Mikey (3) woke at 4am and were awake all day. Giving me a grand total of 3 hours sleep. On Tuesday Mini broke her arm and was awake until 2am unable to get comfortable,.. I can deal with that I totally get pain can keep you awake... however her brothers woke at 4:20am and decided to play and make noise all morning eventually waking Olivia at 6am with all their carry on. Saturay night Peter woke at 11pm, Mikey at 11:15 and Olivia at 11:30, they have radar I swear all waking at the same time, Olivia finally re settled at about 2am Mikey and Peter were up till about 4am and then again at 6:30am I rag myself through the day thinking I am soooooooooooooo tired. They on the other hand are all sunshine and roses.

why do these little sleep thief's not settle... why do they wake up at 11pm an party on all night .. on any given night these are some of the things we hear. ( I will number order them by child child 1= mini child 2 = peter etc etc)

1 I need a drink of water
3 I need drink too
2 I need to go to the toilet
1 my bums sore
3 I poo'ed my nappy
2 I just can't sleep
1 my arm is hurting
1 I'm too hot
2 I m too cold
3 I need milk
2 I can't find my teddy
2 Malina is talking in her room
1 Peter is talking in his room
1 I feel funny
2 I heard a noise outside
3 I want to play
2 Why is Mikey up
1 why are the boys up

This takes place for about an hour an then finally they are all asleep... until anywhere between 11pm and 2am then the wake ups start... if it was a wake up and go back to sleep that would be cool but NO they wont re settle.... co-sleeping, music, warm milk, cuddles with either parent, bribery, threatening, begging and bargaining NOTHING wins them over to the sleep side of the night,all the while number 4 is carrying on calling out from her cot all her demands and frustrations as well.

Now if this was a once a week occurrence I would not complain, I get it kids have bad nights and bad days just like us but it's EVERY fricken night. I hear mum's complain about having to get up at 6am and I want to punch them in the face... repeatedly... 6am ohhh that would be so much nicer then 2am, 3am or 4am. Now you would think that given the total lack of sleep my children have that they would be exhausted during the day, calm and sleepy by 11am well you're TOTALLY wrong!! They are delightful, happy full of energy normal playing toddlers and kids. By around 6pm they are hitting the wall and bed time is round 6:30pm.. I would keep them up later in the hopes of a longer sleep over night but experience has told me that this just doesn't work an makes for a more difficult evening, we have a nice bed time routine they know when it's coming and whats expected, we sit together and have warm milk and a cookie o toileting rounds prayers and tuck In's... which last about 10 mins on a great night 5 on an average night and 3 on a bad night.

I miss sleep so much. How can I function and be a good mum when I average about 4-5 hours sleep a night, I think at least I can bum around the house poor hubby has to go to work and deal with complex computing systems on not much more sleep then I get. People say it's just a stage it wont last but I just cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.... They will be teens before I know it,one of them will be a teen next year, along with that comes even more reasons for me to not be asleep. Even as I write this my 2 yr old beauty climbs on me and I tell her it's almost bedtime, she has just told me No, no bedtime not yet, soon... all this is said as she whines and grounds her eyes with her tiny fists she is soo very tired awake since 5:45am no day nap, yet she resists the wonderfulness that is a good nights sleep, again I ask WHY???!!!!

There is a book that is being released here soon with a rather crude title,most of you who read this will know the one I'm talking about, some parents and groups are against it, but as a exhausted totally sleep deprived mum of 4 I look at my kids and think my darlings please just go the f**k to sleep.

I am now a mum to a young woman, Happy Birthday Malinda Rose.

2011-06-12T19:02:00.023+10:00

Today I become a mum to a young woman, no longer a "little girl" my daughter Malinda Rose has turned 12. I sit and ponder how on earth did that happen? How did my little cherubic baby girl with the big brown eyes and mass of black hair turn into the exotic looking beauty that she has transformed into over the past 12 years. Not a girl but a young woman. Gone is the chubby dimpled hands and round baby face and in their place stands a tall, slender, beautiful young woman.

Previously I have (like many of my blogger Friends) liked to share about our children's birth and early baby/toddlerhood as the time to celebrate their birth approaches however I have decided that I wont go into to much detail in this post about Malinda's conception, birth and early childhood for a few reasons, one of them being that it was a difficult time for me, a child myself the cliche pregnant teen, dumped by the child's father, it was a time of pain and very quick road to maturity. The other is I want to honor my daughter and believe that I should sit and share these memories and the path I journeyed on with her another time, as she grows from a young woman and matures into the amazing adult I know she will become I think there are things that will need to be said just between her and I.

However I DO want to recognise and celebrate her birth with a blog post! What an unexpected treasure she was to me, at 19 terrified about being a first time mother (a single one at that) we learnt together, my girl and I, from her first tooth to her first period we continue to learn together. Malinda has taught me so very much, In our early weeks and months together she taught me patience, perseverance and how to love with every part of my heart and soul. Her hurts were and are my hurts, we grew together, Malinda from a baby to a toddler, me from a girl to a women stepping into the role I had been called into, that of a mum.

Malinda is an absolute superstar of a person. Funny, strong, outgoing and very determined, at 5 and a half she was struggling in her class at school and development. Testing, lots of doctor appointments and outside help would reveal a learning disability, auditory processing delay and speech and developmental issues... as her stepfather and I would sit together devastated she would soldier on, I watched my determined girl push through, hours, months and years of speech therapy, occupational therapy and changing of schools from a mainstream public school to a school where she would receive the specialised help she needed. She worked hard, stubborn and would not be held back by her learning issues she has continued to grow and achieve, she gives her best and pours her huge heart into all she does. She has blessed and enriched my life beyond anything I could of imagined.

12 years together, mother and daughter, we sometimes switch between the roles of teacher and student,but that's okay we experience the new together with love and for the most part mutual respect. Don't get me wrong it's not all sunshine and roses the pre-teen attitude is a challege as is the moods and hormonal swings all women deal with but as her mum it's my job and pleasure to guide her through these as gently and with as little eye rolling as possible.

Pimples, boy friends and peer groups have replaced teething, nappy's and teddy bears, how did this happen? When did this happen? I know it sounds so cliche but really time it seems to have passed in the blink of an eye... first bra's, heartbreak, crushes on Justin Beieber and that boy from school, it's all happening so fast. I remember bringing her home from hospital, holding her tiny body thinking how perfect she was.. nothing has changed in 12 years, I still gaze at her amazed and think you are wonderful my daughter, my first born beauty, you're perfect.

Malinda, today 12 years ago at 1:20pm is the day that my life changed in a million ways and every one of them for the better, because you were born. You have grown into an amazing young woman, I admire and love you so very much. Your laugh is infectious, your courage inspiring, your determination amazing, your heart beautiful, your smile dazzling, your compassion admirable. Happy Birthday my darling.

Am I a man or a mouse?

2011-06-08T16:41:00.004+10:00

This blogger has been in need of some time out,and my in laws who are house sitting in New South Wales offered myself and the kids some time away with them in the country. Eager for a break in routine and two extra pairs of hands to help with the tot's I jumped at the chance to head off for a week. A few days before I set off on our country adventure I caught the end of a current affairs shows which to my horror was a segment on the terrible mouse plague happening at the moment in country N.S.W.... EEEeekkkkkk!!! I watched in terror and nausea as I saw farmers separating bales of hay to have 100's of mice scurry out. I watched whimpering as what appeared to be thousands of mice ran across fields,roads and farm houses.

Mice are more than an annoyance and plagues can cause significant damage to our agricultural sector. Mice also cause considerable damage to farm infrastructure—including sheds and machinery and unprotected fodder and stored grain, mice can also cause considerable damage to my holiday! I HATE MICE!!! They are horrible little furry things that freak me out with their quick scurry and filthy little poo pellets. I quickly decided that I was NOT going to be going on the wonderful country adventure after all. Hubby however manage to convince me that I would be fine he assured me that the mice plague was not actually near where the kids and I would be staying so there was no need for me to stress..... he was WRONG!!!!

OH MY GOSH! On the drive into Junee (country N.S.W) I counted 21 mice scurrying across the road in about 6 minutes slowly I began to freak out! Turning to David I say "I don't think I can do this", again came his naive "you'll be fine babe".
I ran from the car to the house greeted by my beautiful in laws I began babbling about the mice I had seen and how worried I was... my father in law... who now holds the title of THE GREAT MICE WARRIOR of New South Wales, proudly boasted to me how in 8 weeks he had trapped and killed 500 mice,(yes he does keep a record of his carnage and yes it creeps me out) my heart sank right down towards me knees and I felt bile rise up into my throat. Oh crap, how am I going to cope with these pests for 8 days.

I have however managed to cope rather well,... yes.... me! I have been astounded at myself and my ability to not totally loose my shit when I see them running about the farm. The Great Mice Warrior has 6 traps baited with peanut butter and a small dog biscuit set up to lure and trap these pests before they get a chance to invade the house... a thing I am very grateful for. I have been receiving quite an education on the destruction and devastation mice can actually cause and I have a new appreciation for our framers who are already doing it so tough with the weather conditions who also have to deal with these pests on such a massive scale. Having to re-sew crop after crop as the mice nibble away at the freshly sewn seed it comes at a huge cost to the farmer. Interestingly while here I visited a local church and the minister gave a sermon with several mouse related analogies... this did NOT impress me, however it also bought home the huge affect these pests are having.

I have also learnt some creative (and gross) ways to catch mice outside the home, The Great Mouse Warrior has an interesting contraption/ torture device rigged up for any mice venturing into the garage with a plank of wood,a drinking can smeared with peanut butter and a bucket of water... you get the picture??? Also learnt they are attracted to dog biscuits... yes dog biscuits which The mouse warrior,(also known as Norm) adds to the peanut butter in the traps, to help give them weight and set the trap off as a mice nibbles at the biscuit, also dish washing liquid helps to add to the drowning of the mouse... yes it does sound barbaric and at first I was truly horrified but today as my Mum in law and I drove through the country and I saw fields of crops in various stages of sewing, re sewing and growth I have come to realise it is a necessary part of farming life at the moment if our farmers are to make any kind of head way in dealing with them before more of their lively hood is ruined.

Now while I have grown in my strength to be able to stomach the thought of a mouse on the veranda you will not find me emptying traps or disposing of a mouse corpse, however I will admit to a small feeling of satisfaction as I hear the loud SNAP of the plastic trap going off enclosing a mouse within and grin as I watch Norm react with satisfaction as he say's "I got another one"!!

Submission in marriage.. it's actually what I choose.

2011-06-01T11:54:00.025+10:00

Often the question of submission comes up in my circle of friends. As a christian women in a Christan marriage, I submit,(sometimes with a grumble) to my husbands authority as head of our house, knowing that he has been charged with the responsibility of taking care of our family's needs emotional, practical and financial, a huge responsibility and one that he takes very seriously.

Submission is a word which can be described/defined as “willing conciliation.” That means that the wife should be “willing,” not coerced. Wives respect their husbands. Husbands are to be considerate of their wives. BOTH partners should be willing to “put the other’s interests above his/her own” as Philippians 2 describes. The woman should be willing to submit to her husband not be unwilling and NEVER forced. The man should be a loving, servant leader – accountable and responsible to God and his family. A loving leader leads – doesn't manipulate or pressure. I am grateful and blessed to be part of a loving covenant marriage, I am proud to submit to my husband, it doesn't make me weak or stupid, but instead gives me the confidence to know I can express myself how I choose and know I will always be valued and respected by the most amazing man, my husband.

I know that people who don't follow this biblical Principal can have a misunderstood perception of what submission really is and why we as women do it. The bible Say's "wives submit to your husband" Ephesians 5:22... now I know many people who misuse this verse and only focus on the first part about wives submitting to their husbands, but the verse continues and says "and husbands love you wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Ephesians 5:25. This I see is a huge honour and also a huge responsibility, I mean Christ loved the church passionately, Christ died for the church, he gave his EVERYTHING for the church, and knowing that my husband has been called as a Christian man to love me the same way blows my mind. Knowing and being completely secure that my husband loves me passionately that he would give his everything for me, that he would die for me, means so much more to me than not having the final say over buying a new piece of furniture or DVD...

A good friend of mine describes submitting to her husband as "equal partners with different roles in the marriage". I love this definition, I think some people have the impression that submitting to your husband means you give away your brain.. your right to say no or have an opinion in your own life. I can categorically say this is not true, I still have (and always have had) very strong opinions and I am free to express them and know I am heard when I do so, sometimes my husband may agree with them sometimes he may disagree, but ALWAYS I am heard, loved and above all respected! These again are the things I value most for my man, rather then having an argument over a new purchase or dinner out I understand that my husband has his reasons for saying no to certain things and that he does it because he has a responsibility to look after our family unit as a whole and may see the bigger picture for us, one that I might not see at the time,... My husband ( a beautiful man) expresses his opinions or disagreements with me in a respectful tone and manner which lets me know that he loves me and has heard my voice and values my opinion and input.

I see my husband loving me as Christ loves the church everyday, I see it as he gives up time with his friends to ensure that I get to spend time with my friends having nights out at craft group or going to dinner, I see it as he goes to work an puts in a full day working hard to financially provide for us, and then comes home to a house full of people and doesn't complain because he knows it make me happy to entertain, I see it as he works through out family budget and always makes sure that there is some extra cash on hand so I can do an unplanned shop at spotlight or take my bestie to a movie. I see him sacrifice over and over for me and our children and I am astounded at how much he gives of himself to me and I know that submitting to him is so worth it as I am loved and cherished as Christ loved and cherished his church, passionately completely with his everything.

Sometimes I .....

2011-05-21T17:34:00.003+10:00

Sometimes I am a completely awesome mum, on the top of my game, kids are clean, happy, well fed, occupied without the television being on and I am full of love for them...

Sometimes I give the kids cereal for dinner

Sometimes I think OMG if these children don't stop talking at me my head is literally going to explode!!!

Sometimes all I want to do is hug my kids

sometimes I can't stand to be touched by them

Sometimes my house is so tidy I marvel at my ability to have it all organised and sparkly

Sometimes my house is so untidy I wonder what wild animals may surface or if child protective services will remove my children for unsafe/untidy living conditions

Sometimes I am so full of love for my saviour it wells up and takes over my body I literally feel love and gratitude coming off me in a physical sense

Sometimes I am so dry as a christian I question where are you God..

Sometimes I am so excited by life, the possibilities are endless and I am filled with hope

Sometimes I think I can't be bothered today, turn over and sleep some more

Sometimes (most times)I think I have married the most amazing man in the world, I think he is brilliant, caring, insightful and the best person I know

Sometimes (not often) I think my husband has no clue about anything

Sometimes I cannot contain my creative flow, I can sew, scrapbook and crosstitch for hours on end, forming beautiful creations that look amazing

Sometimes I cannot draw a straight line... even with a ruler

Sometimes I love myself, I think I am well on the way to being the beautiful strong confident woman I have been created to be

Sometimes I cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror, I feel weak and out of control of my own life

Sometimes I feel so full of contradictions I have to write them own in a blog post.

Dear Gateway person,

2011-03-18T16:48:00.001+11:00

So this is not something I would normally do, however for the past 18 months I have had so much gossip speculation and plain ol' hurt thrown my way I decided to set the record straight!

Dear Gateway person, specifically the two woman who looked me in the eye today snubbed their noses and walked away from me for no reason I can think of other then that I no longer attend your church, here are a few facts, Number one I did not leave Gateway to attend another church because my best friend did, this topic I KNOW has been the hot issue of many gossip sessions by some people.... people whom I thought were my friends.Number two I left Gateway because of service time changes, because I did not agree with decisions being made by leadership, because it no longer felt like my church home any more, but mostly I left because I was being led to by God, and in the end I answer to him, not YOU!!! Number Three NO I did not just pick up and leave, I had many conversations with leadership, both on my own and with my husband, much prayer soul searching and discussion was had before David and I made the decision TOGETHER that the children and I would no longer attend services at Gateway.

Number 4 I am so sick and so hurt with continued gossip and nasty things being said about me at the time I left your church and my husband decided to stay things like, I was an unfair wife that I was putting pressure on David to leave, that I was mean to stress our marriage that way were all things that got said about me. Again things being said by people whom I thought my friends... my family....things confirmed to me by other people when I directly asked them. I NEVER told my husband to leave or gave him an ultimatum in any way shape or form. I NEVER pressured him in anyway, he has his own mind, and his own heart and made his own decision for himself.

Things being said like I was a traitor or that I jumped ship when things were going bad etc etc, again I should not have to defend myself but it seems the only way things will be right from my point of view is if I do because just today I was again subjected to unfair hurt and snobbery for the simple act of following where God led.I didn't "jump ship" when things got bad. I resent this being said about me especially after I served in your church even when things were difficult for me personally and for our family. I had two babies at the time, a 4 year old and a 10 year old who needed to be my priority, following where led and listening to my heart also a priority. Being heard also a priority this is why I left, not because things were a bit rough within the church, there is far more to my character then that.

It pains me deeply that after almost 8 years of service, love and commitment to your church that it has to come to this. Yes We have left your church but really do I deserve this treatment.... I don't think I did anything wrong here, I tried to finish well, I have not bitched, put down or disrespected Gateway church, it's leaders or the decisions it makes since leaving and whilst I did not agree with things while attending I as a member of the Gateway family had the right to have my voice heard.... but when you speak up and get put down for it, it becomes intimidating to do so after a while.

I know I did the right thing in leaving, no it was not an easy decision to make it was fraught with heartache and lots of tears, nights of me sitting on the floor crying to my husband and to God what do I do?? but subsequent treatment has been a confirmation, when people whom were like your family, your mentors, your friends, no longer speak to you, do not return your phone calls, snub you and gossip about you for no reason other then making a choice that is right for you and your family, it confirms that choice over and over. Gateway you were once a place of happiness, love and Christ's acceptance for me, I met my husband walking through your doors, I found Christ in your Alpha course and in people, my darling children were dedicated to the Lord in your presence I learnt to love and trust in God, in people and in myself during my 8 years in your house, I wish I was able to leave and live my life with these fond and beautiful memories at the forefront of my mind, but instead I have to continue to be treated unfairly and unjustly.

I really hope this sets the record straight, and that the talk can stop, please realise you're hurting my feelings and those of my children when you deliberately snub us. No you do not have to fall all over us or be fake if you no longer want to speak to me that's fine, but please leave it at that, don't speak about me behind my back, unfortunately gossip always finds it's way back to the party it's being spoken about. It's hurtful and not required.... if you have a question re my motives, my heart or my choices pick up the phone and lets chat I would of been very happy to answer your questions or concerns, instead of having to go to the lengths of a public forum to be heard.

The F word ... Forgivness

2011-01-08T21:44:00.012+11:00

Forgiveness, lets face it we all struggle with it! Why? Because forgiveness is a tricky thing, something I refer to as the other F word,.. why.... because it's so damn hard to do...most of the time. I find forgiving things I see as smaller injustices or offences so much easier to forgive then ones that I see as bigger.

The act of forgiveness has gotten so messed up though. Most people think forgiveness is about excusing the behaviour of the person who wronged you, letting them off the hook for the hurt they have caused... that's how I viewed forgiveness for a long time anyway. I refused to forgive people..why should they be able to get away with the horrible things they have said and done? Why should I forgive them and let them feel better when I feel so much pain? Forgiveness and my lack of being able to do so really messed me up for a long time. I harboured vengeful thoughts towards those who had wronged me and was often consumed with anger, hurt and even hate towards people. Unforgiveness created a darkness in me...now I realise that may sound strange but that is the only way I can describe it. When I thought of a particular person or event that had caused considerable pain or damage to me I felt all these negative emotions welling up inside of me, taking over any good or positive feeling I was having at the time. My heart grew hard and I wished that who ever had hurt or offended me would experience the same pain... justice I would defend these thoughts with!

It wasn't until a couple of years ago I really grasped just how freeing forgiveness can be. I knew that as a Christian it (The F word) was something I was expected to do,something God does everyday and something I should be willing to offer to others the same way he does. However I am NOT God and I lack his compassion and understanding so forgiveness even though I was and am a Christian continued to be a struggle. It wasn't until talking some of these emotions out with a trusted advisor and really feeling the need to get rid of these dark and revenge filled thoughts that the forgiveness picture began to become clearer.

Forgiveness isn't about the other person, letting them off the hook, forgiveness is about ME!!! Letting myself off the hook. Being able to let go of all the anger, hurt and mis-trust I was holding against people for offences that had happened so long ago. Offences that they have probably not even given a second thought to. Those actions were eating ME up not them and so I had to let go. Letting go and forgiving was not an easy thing to do and sometimes the process of forgiveness had to be done over and over till I really began to feel a change in my heart. It took a long time to work through lots of pain that I had been carrying around. And even now forgiveness is not something that comes naturally to me, however I know how much better I feel when I have forgiven someone so it is something I continue to work on, wanting to get better at it.

I have learnt that it is not my place to deal out the justice ( a very long and difficult journey to get to that point mind you) Forgiveness for me has become so freeing, I no longer have to carry the weight of pain and anger towards people, I am free. Forgiving doesn't always mean forgetting, or allowing the same person to continue to hurt me, boundaries have been put in place in certain circumstances and some people although forgiven are no longer part of my life. Forgiving doesn't mean excusing what the person/s did wrong but it is allowing myself to acknowledge the hurt and hand it on to God to deal with (I believe he will do a far better job with the dealing of justice then I could ever do) Sometimes I don't want to forgive I want to feel angry and annoyed about a situation or person and every now and then I do find myself plotting scenarios in my head on things that could happen in return for my pain, (muwhahahaha Dr Evil laugh) but in the end I know that this is wrong. It's really not the type of woman I want to be. I want to be free of anger and hate as much as I possibly can be, I don't want to be weighed down by the burden of unforgiveness. No this does not give people permission to treat me like a door mat and whilst I will forgive you for your actions if they continue I will not allow you to be a part of my life, because I deserve better. However I know that I can walk away from the relationship without holding onto pain and hate because I choose to hand these over.

So big shocker I am not perfect, yes I still struggle to forgive, even more of a struggle is asking to be forgiven when I know I have stuffed up (but that's a whole different post) The forgiveness process is sometimes a daily process for me, but it is something I want to continue to work on, so I can continue to grow and be the woman I was meant to be, free of hate and anger a strong woman with a soft heart!

Vagina Verses Vulva

2010-12-01T20:47:00.003+11:00

So this post may be a little confronting for some of you and you may want to walk away, but given the title of this post I am guessing you already know it has to do with vagina's and the various names we refer to them as.

As a mum of two daughters I recently decided to teach my daughters (more so my almost 2 year old) the proper name for her body parts,especially her genitalia. I have a varied circle of friends all who use various names in reference to their female "bits" and I had heard one friend in particular who is the mum of 2 young girls teaching her daughters to refer to their personal female parts as a vulva... now this was really confronting to me, I had not readily heard this female body part refered to as a vulva, usually woman including myself call it a vagina. The word vulva seem so foreign to me and to be honest a little bizarre, to hear this 3 year girl mention she had wiped her vulva after going to the toilet was totally odd to my way of thinking. "why on earth is she calling her vagina a vulva?" I asked my friend...as is always the case with this particular friend I got the most simple and straight forward answer "uummm cause that's what it is".... I went home a little mystified, why a vulva why not call it a vagina.. well the more I thought on it the more it made sense to me.

I want my kids to be able to correctly identify their body parts and the vagina is the inside part of the female gentiles, the vulva is the outside. I want my kids to be able to tell me if they have a particular pain where it is, and to just say my vagina hurts isn't good enough. Also especially as my eldest daughter is growing into a young lady now heading towards turning 12 years old next year, I don't want her using these cutsie name like foo foo or daisy, or names that objectifies or sexualise her body parts, yes the vagina is used for sex but it is also that amazing delivery channel that babies are birthed through and I don't want for our girls to grow up thinking that their vagina's are only there for sex, because of the sexual names society gives them.... am I over thinking this,... well you may think so but for me I think it is really important for my daughters and myself to know our bodies and the correct terms and usage for our various parts.

Intergrating the word vulva into our vocabulary has been interesting, we get some strange looks from people who might be about during a nappy change of our daughter and no doubt some of you reading this are probably thinking this woman is a nutcase (and that's OK I am a nutcase who knows I have a vulva and a vagina lol)we have started teaching Miss O with each nappy change where her vulva is and she now very proudly points to it and says "bulva" (she will be 2 in March next year so we think bulva is a pretty good pronunciation at this point)once her baby powder is sprinkled on she also announces "bulva..nice" hehehe which I think is her way of saying she likes to have the powder put on each nappy change.

So in the debate (and when I say debate please don't take that to mean I sit around discussing vagina's and vulva's cause I don't I simply mean a discussion I have had with my husband and with myself on how important is this particular thing) of referring to our girls private body part as vulva or vagina, vulva wins, it's the proper name for that part and to quote my friend..."uummmm cause that's what it is", simple and straightforward. Of course what you call your own body is your choice so go ahead and use whatever name makes you comfortable but for the females in this house, we choose to use the word vulva.

I Don't like it, my opinion on FB and the I like it status updates

2010-10-14T17:18:00.006+11:00

I have had enough, and I just have to have my say here, cause every time I get on Facebook it annoys me to be bombarded with stupid status updates, yes this is another blog post to add to the many out there on breast cancer and the I like it status updates on Facebook.
I don't know who's idea it was to start the whole "I like it" thing on Facebook, but gee it is getting really annoying to everyday see people put up I like it on the kitchen bench, I like it on the table etc etc.... Can someone please explain to me how saying where we like to put our handbag, under the guise of how we like our sexual positions helps raises awareness about breast cancer...ummmm these status updates don't even mention the words breast or cancer?????

Please tell me how sexualising someones handbag spot has anything to do with breast cancer? I don't get it? What am I missing here? Also why do we have to make it about sex anyways ohhh it's so funny woman like to have sex giggle giggle giggle...grow up it's not funny and doesn't raise any awareness about the terrible killer that is breast cancer.

As a woman who has been through 2 surgeries to have 4 lumps cut out of her breasts, I find it insulting! I have twice now had to go through the process of mammograms, needle biopsy's and then the waiting on results to find out if I have cancer or not.. I have been blessed twice to have negative results however the lumps I had still had to be removed, they were still dangerous as they were growing throughout my breast tissue, the surgery's were scary and painful and both my breasts are left scared. My dear Aunty Val passed away a few years ago after having both her breasts as well as lymph nodes removed, she beat the first lot of cancer after her surgery and suffering through terrible chemo, but was tragically struck with a secondary cancer and passed away. The whole handbag /sex position, I feel cheapens her memory and I don't like it at all.

So before you tell me again that you disagree with me and that telling the whole of Facebook land where you like to leave your handbag as a sexual position really does raise breast cancer awareness I think you should consider some alternatives...if you really want people to be aware of breast cancer or you want to actually do something proactive to support the cause then please host a girls night in for breast cancer research...get together with some of your girlfriends and put the money you would of spent on a night out towards cancer research. Make a personal donation, go spend time in a cancer ward, tell a woman who is going through chemo or surgeries how stunningly beautiful she truly is, how brave and strong she is,tell her what an inspiration she is!!!!!
As a society can't we PLEASE just stop making everything about sex, frankly it makes me sick to see something as serious as breast cancer being cheapened in such a gratuitous unnecessary way. I love my Aunty Val. I miss her everyday and I would much rather do something important and hold my head high knowing I am contributing to helping find a cure then splashing stupid status updates on Facebook.I think this would make her proud.

On October the 29th I am holding a girls night in, all money raised will be going to the breast cancer research foundation, if your interested in coming along for a great night or want to make a personal donation,contact me on this blog or my Facebook page, together lets get proactive and actually do something towards fighting the fight and raising some real awareness!

Real men do ballet.....rant of an angry mummy

2010-08-10T17:15:00.002+10:00

So usually I am a calm blogger who thinks through carefully about what I am going to say/write because I like to express myself in a certain way but right now I am SO FRIGGING ANGRY I just have to blog and get this out of my system before my head explodes with annoyance and with the feelings of total gender injustice!!!

So as most of you know my gorgeous son Peter who is 5 has started ballet lessons, in fact he had his first lesson yesterday and if I do say so myself looked incredibly sweet in his dance pants and ballet shoes I was so proud of him. He has been asking/begging for dance lessons periodically for about 6 months and at first I resisted thinking he would grow out of it to quickly changing his mind the way he changes his undies and if I am being honest I would say I also resisted because I was afraid of what people would say about him having the lessons, but the more he asked for them the more I began to see that ballet was something he was very passionate about and when my eldest brother Adam (who is very much a mans man football player soccor coach etc etc) said to me "if he wants to dance let him dance who the hell cares as long as his happy, I will come and watch him dance" I felt it a turning point in my attitude he was right the most important thing was that Peter was/is happy and if dancing makes him happy so be it. We looked around and with the input of Aunty Lanii (the dance queen) have found a local place that is really good with a great reputation. Peter was incredibly excited about his lesson yesterday and for a boy who can be a bit shy when trying new things he took to it with ease and had a ball. I am so happy that HE is happy...

Well I was happy until I told my mother about his lessons and that we had gone ahead with them for him she laughed and in a somewhat sarcastic tone informed me that it was "no surprise" that Peter would be dancing, then I got told that "he isn't really a sporty person and he will probably change his mind anyway, maybe he will do tennis since he will never play football" OH MY GOD!!!!! I was SO angry!!!!

And maybe it seems like I am airing "family dirty laundry" but ya know what this is my blog and I am annoyed and I gotta say what I feel. YES Peter is a sensitive and feminine boy YES he cries easily and NO he doesn't like football or rough play He would prefer to do craft then kick a ball or wrestle this doesn't make him any less of a boy, for frig sake we are talking about a 5 year old here I really don't think that ballet dancing is going to "turn" him gay, if he is gay he is gay dancing won't make or change that and that is something we will have to work through and process with him when he is older but for now how about we just let the little guy be happy and frigging DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If he is teased at school by other boys or bully's he will have the confidence and conviction to stand up for himself knowing that it is HIS choice to dance and that he is allowed to be who he is and he has the right to do what makes him happy (as long as he isn't hurting anyone or himself) and not be some created image of what society thinks a man is supposed to be, here's a heads up men can cry and still be men, men can dance and still be men and men can treat woman with kindness and respect and still be men. I am raising little men not sheep!!! I am proud of my boy and his choice and am happy he is off the couch getting some healthy exercise and most importantly he is having FUN doing what makes him happy and as a parent how can I want anything less for him..Thus end the rant!!!!

We are weaners!!! End of the breastfeeding journey.

2010-07-05T05:56:00.008+10:00

So as most of you who follow along here on my little blog know I have been a breastfeeding mum for over a year now (go me!!)You all know the internal battle I experienced to get to a place where I was comfortable and confident enough to actually even try breastfeeding with Olivia. It had been a bit of a battle but I am so proud of myself as I worked very hard on getting through my emotional reservations and issues with breastfeeding.

Olivia and I have enjoyed a fabulous time boobing away for the first 14 months of her life, however a month ago I started feeling the desire to reclaim my body, after two pregnancies very close together (and I DO mean very close there is only 4 months between my pregnancy with Mikey and my pregnancy with Olivia)and breastfeeding for 14 months I really felt like I was loosing myself a bit and wanted to reclaim my body..including my boobies.

I have had a wonderful and loving experience breastfeeding Livvy-bug and although it was originally my plan to feed her until she was 2 years old physically and emotionally I have gotten to a place where I feel I am done. Olivia was no longer at a stage of having a breastfeed for a meal, as a newborn would be solely dependant on milk for there food requirements Olivia eats a massive range of foods and was only having a big drink at night and popping on and off the boob during the day for quick drinks, it became (if I am being honest) a bit frustrating for me to literally have her attach for 35 seconds so after discussion with my amazingly supportive hubby we decided to end our breast feeding relationship. Extremely happy in the knowledge that I have given her a wonderful and healthy natural start during the past month we have transitioned or weaned off the breast and onto a bottle for night time and a sippy cup for during the day.
Olivia has taken to it with gusto and enthusiasm which has made the whole process very easy. Her big sister Malinda has enjoy being able to share cuddles and give Livvy her night time bottle sometimes this is such a lovely sight for us as their parents to see.

Olivia and I would like to thank everyone who has supported encouraged and given us advice and help during our breastfeeding relationship, especially Meegs Beer, Sarah Mac, Sazz Langford and my hubby, Liv's Daddy David who has been amazingly supportive as he and I both did the learning and journey of feeding our daughter together.

Busy blogger returns with a new address!

2010-06-22T12:36:00.007+10:00

so I have been insanely busy the past couple of months and as such my beloved blog has become very neglected, to be honest I have really struggled to find the time to just sit and write... and even as I am typing this post I am attempting to keep one eye on Mr Mikey who is currently trying to help himself to the pantry.

So the big news for team Tredinnick and probably the biggest thing that has kept me away from blogging is real estate. We decided to sell our home and upgrade to a bigger house as our family of 6 had really begun to out grow our 4 bedroom house with no back yard that the kids could play in. I had been feeling guilty for some time that the children didn't have a safe area to play outside as the retainer walls had fallen down in our backyard and with a quote of $30,000 to fix them (something we just didn't have at the time) they were left all over the yard and the children have been forced to only play indoors unless visiting a park. Then a couple of months ago hubby completely shocked me by suggesting we get an agent round to value the house and get it on the selling market,... to be honest I was really surprised by this seemingly out of the blue suggestion as hubby is not known for his spontaneous decisions and usually most things require months of thought and planning if he is going to make a change (I was to later find out he had been thinking about selling the house on and off for almost 2 yrs, so this explained so called spontaneity hee hee) after meeting with a couple of agents we decided on one and got to the business of making the house tidy and presentable for sale...no small feat given 4 children who liked to undo all the cleaning almost as soon as it was done. The day came when we have the photo's done and put on the net and the house went on the market on a Sunday night, on Monday morning we had an agent ringing asking if they could bring someone through that afternoon, sure no prob thinking I could whisk the kids down to the park for a bit while the agent was there 45 Min's later another phone call from another agent saying they also had a client wanting to look at the house, ok so I am thinking maybe I will take the kids to Macca's. It now appeared I was going to be out of the house all afternoon, I was also wondering how I was going to deal with having to take the kids out in the cold all the time when people wanted to look through and even more worrying was how was I going to attempt to keep the house clean with the kids at home. That afternoon when hubby came to pick us up from Macca's we had a phone call from one of the agents saying that the person they had taken to see the house wanted to buy it!!!!! We were totally flabbergasted to say the least we went down to the agent saw the offer that was submitted and decided it was to good to pass up and we signed contracts that night! Yes we sold our home in 24 HOURS!! So that solved the issue of how was I going to maintain the spotlessness with 4 children.

We needed to find a new home a lot faster then we thought, opting for a 90 day settlement gave us a bit more time to search for our new home, which we found 2 weeks later. Our dream house as I call it is amazing: 5 bedrooms big big big lounge room/family room/kids play area lots of bench space in the kitchen plus a "good" room which is really a parents only lounge room YAY!! but the best thing is a beautiful big backyard with an undercover area for the kids to play in summer or winter, there is room for our trampoline, basketball hoop and some play equipment. We have indulged in some new furniture to help fill some of the space in the new house including new chaise lounge suite, complete new bedroom suite for Malinda and also new dresser and beside tables for us and a bookshelf for the lounge room. I feel so at ease here and the family all adjusted to the move really easily including the 2 babies who settled in with no fuss at all.

Although this move has been a blessing all the paper work, time spent waiting on approval for this or that and dealing with conveyances who are rude and don't return phone calls had made me realise I don't want to move again anytime soon, which is a good thing because we all love our new home so much I cant imagine moving out of here for a loooonng time yet! I have so enjoyed the past two days with the little bit on sunshine we have had here in cold cold Melbourne as I have been able to spend time with the 2 littlest Tredinnicks outside playing in our new backyard whilst the older 2 Tredinnick children have been at school. I can't wait for summer to hit so we can enjoy BBQ's,entertaining and most of all enjoy hearing the sound of children laughing as they play together outside in the sunshine.

Olivia turns one!

2010-04-12T23:34:00.003+10:00

Okay so I have been totally run off my feet with school holidays and 4 children so have had no chance to blog about recent events including Livvy's 1st birthday party, Easter and school holiday madness and since Meegs has been sooking about my lack of blogging I thought I would try to do a couple of posts over the next day or so.

I will start with Olivia's birthday and her party.

We had an amazing day despite my stress a couple days before that no one would show up for her party. We were blessed by Kintara and Adam who gave us pretty much all our party's supply of plates, cups, napkins and bowls thanks again guys it was a huge help. The plates were in the shape of Ladybugs and the cups and smaller plates had pictures of ladybugs on them they were awesome and of course if you haven't picked up on the theme we had a ladybug party as this is one of Livvy's nicknames. Red and black balloons floated around the house as we organised the backyard and lounge rooms ready for the party.

I had made Olivia a red tutu and sewn on black spots. I also made her a headband with antena on them to

complete her outfit... it turned out great if I do say so myself hee hee. Some of the party guests also dressed up as ladybugs or other types of bugs or beetles. There was Drew who looked awesome in his bumble bee costume (and is now forever nicknamed Mr

Drew-bee), Peter was a silvery dragonfly, as well as that there were some other ladybugs, butterflies and a very cute centepede. The effort everyone went to was awesome and all the kids looked great.

We had our very special friend Lanii come and take some beautiful photos on her big expensive camera which was very generous of her and the photos look great - thank you Lanii for do that for us oxox.

My mum made the birthday cake...which was a point of many conversations/arguments of differing artistc opinions but in the end we settled on a design and she did an absolutely fantastic job, the cake made me cry and I could not bring myself to cut the ladybug part as I thought it to pretty. A fantastic result Thanks mum.

Livvy-bug received some very beautiful presents for her birthday from all her guests but one that is very very special was handmade by her Godmother Megan for her. It is a beautiful blanket with brightly coloured patch work squares. Livvy managed to christen it in the first week of having it by doing a poop on it...it had since been washed and she cuddles up with it at night. A gorgeous present from a gorgeous lady.

The party went off without a hitch lots of food and fun, pass the parcel and pin the tale on the donkey, free play and music. We all had an awesome day and want to say a massive thank you to all who came and celebrated Olivia's special day with us....I still cannot believe my baby is one time sure moves on.

Happy 1st Birthday Ladybug

2010-03-24T18:22:00.001+11:00

It is almost Olivia the Ladybug's 1st birthday so I thought I would share part of her birth/life story thus far..yes she is only one so it shall be a short story but none the less an important one.

Livvy was an unexpected gift to our family,for a while during my pregnancy I would say she was an accident or she was unplanned...but towards the end of my pregnancy I began to see that she was indeed no accident and she was very much planned out by God to enrich our family and grow our hearts. She was a very unexpected gift however and when I found out I was pregnant I went into complete shock and denial.

Yes to say I did not handle it well would be a massive understatment, I was recovering from having my appendix out and had a 4 month old baby, so another pregnancy was the last thing on my mind. However afetr feeling unwell for a few days and realising I was somewhat "late" I decided to take a home pregnancy test..I didn't tell my hubby because I was sure it was going to be negative and the tiredness and constant nausea I was experiencing was simply a stomach bug. However once I peed on the stick and those two lines of a positive test appeared I almost passed out,.then convinced myself it was a false positive...marching out to my husband I announced "well this says I am pregnant" thrusting the test at him. "Wow" was all he said, "I think its a false positive though there is no way I could be pregnant we have a 4 month old baby". Off to the shops to get another test ( a 2 pack this time) more drinking more pee and yet another positive test!!! "No way" I exclaimmed "not possible". I went into complete denial mode I was a mess refusing to accept that I was indeed pregnant, even after 12 weeks of morning sickness no period and another positive pregnancy test.

Hubby decided he had had enough of my denial and took me to the doctors, after a check over he pulled out his trusty ultra sound machine squirted goo on my tummy and proceeded to show me my little growing ladybug there in my belly, I turn and look at him with the dumbest expression and say "oh so I really am pregnant"... the doctor looked back at me like I was a total dickhead " ummm yes Leesa your very pregnant at least 4 months along" I am sure he must of been thinking I was a total nutbag after all this was my 4th child I should know what pregnancy feels like lol but I had really concinced myself it was a phantom pregnancy and that my uterus would be empty completly devoid of any life...however Miss Olivia had other plans and I was angry how dare this person invade my body I hadn't given her permission to do so.

To say the next 9 months were tough would be a massive understatement..I batteled.. oh did I battle everyone and everything, I hated being pregnant, hated my body, hated God, my husband and as tough as it is to say this now, I hated my unborn baby. Terrible motion sickness and cronic heartburn and high blood preasure did nothing to enhance my liking for this baby. The only thing gicing me some happiness was knowing that she was a girl (afer 2 boys I was so over blue) so shopping was a happy thing once again as my space got invaded with lots and lots of pink. Physically I continued to feel crappy and to make it worse she was now overdue, and I was very very over it. David had arranged to have 2 weeks off work his holidays were booked in and he was due to finish up work on the Friday....it would be another 8 days before I could be induced thus in a way he would be "wasting" his paternaty leave because there would be no baby for a week of it, I was convinced bub's would not come on her own I have been induced with all 3 previous pregnancys and expected the same for the 4th.

The night of the 26th I sat on the bottom of the shower floor and sobbed, I sobbed my guts out like I never have before. Handing all my anxiety over to God in prayer I asked for his help...finally...probably should of done that about 8 months prior... but there I was a sobbing mess. I asked for Gods help I felt terrified I was never going to love my child, that she would know I had shown very little interest in her health or growth throughout the pregnancy and she would somehow know this and resent me. I wanted my baby I wanted to love her I just wasn't sure I would, that it would not happen as naturally as it was ment to. I sobbed some more crying a river of tears that had been stored up from the moment I peed on tht first pregnancy test at home. I told God of my need to have this baby soon that I could not wait for another8 days to go by before I could be induced that she needed to come out now,so David could be home with us the entire 2 weeks. I sobbed. until I was so exhusted all I could do was dry off from my shower and fall into bed I felt waves of relief wash over me, knowing that the baby and I were now in Gods hands I could sleep, I slept the sleep of the totally exhusted, but not for very long.

Around 2am I awoke with a sharp pain through my back, oh great I think more fake labor they continued in and off for a while, "bugger this" I said to myself I got up out of bed went into the lounge room leaving hubby to sleep on. I watched t.v, folded laundry and tidied the kitchen as I breathed through some very minor contrations which were around 5 to 7 minutes apart. Because I had never "gone into labor" on my own before I wasn't even sure if this was the real thing, again I prayed "God if this is really labor give me a sign",...nothing spectacular happened, I went to the loo and there it was " a show" woo hoo I thought I am in labor and I did it all on my own. It was now 4am the pain wasn't bad but I thought I had better wake hubby I told him his daughter was on her way he was up and dressed in a flash...calm down hun she aint here yet I am going to have a shower I announce...David was worried and got me to call the hospital to explain where thing were at, "this is your 4th baby" the midwife says "hhmmm you better come in and let us check you over", darn it I really wanted the shower. So by the time we got a baby sitter and got to the hospital it was just after 5am, I am wisked up to the ward as my contractions start to get a little pinchy I am checked over and it is announced I am 7 and a half cm dialted GO ME!!! I beg for a shower and the lovely midwife obliges. I labor on in there

for another hour when the midwife does a check on me I beg her "please break my waters once you do the baby will come straight out I know it". She gets a dotor who examines me and agrees it is safe for my waters to be broken.. (just as well as I had even offered the midwife a bribe of money to do it if the doctor says no..nope not kidding!!) I feel sweet relief as my waters break and I know I am on the home stretch. I stand up the midwife says I can deliever the baby this way if thats what I want...it is, I am told to make sure I let them know when bubs is coming cause someone will need to catch her if I am in a standing position. No

problems I am woman, mother and birthing queen at this point I can do anything, with hubby standing in front of me my holding onto his sholders I feel the burning knowing my little princess is on her way out I say she is coming I push and bend down at the same time as her head emerges I reach down and deliever my own baby into my hands she comes wrinkly screamming beautiful life. I bring her up to my chest kissing her as I do so. David cuts the cord and I am ushered onto the bed where I can gaze apon the mirlce in my arms. Olivia Joy Valerie I say as David and I stare in amazement at each other and at our baby who is nuzzling round for a boob to attach to, 15 minutes after she is born she has latched onto my breast and remains there for the next little while. Photo's are taken phone calls and text messages sent announcing the arrival of our princess,we call home to check on our other children who are all excited about meeting thier sister later on that day.

Olivia's birth was one of the most empowering things I have ever done, and although I had given birth to 3 other children her birthing experience remains the most powerful and wonderful one of all. This first year of our little ladybugs life seems to have passed extreamly quickly a fact that doesnot impress me at all. I am wanting to savor every moment with her, the kisses and cuddles the closesness of brestfeeding the joy she brings to my life..to our whole family really. Olivia's name means peace, Joy, means happiness or joy and Valerie means strength, Olivia certainly fits her name, she has bought all these things into my heart and liffe and lives of those around her.

Thes past 12 months have come with ups and downs including a short hospital stay for Livvy who has a slightly enlarged heart, but is doing fine with it, lots of sleep issues but also lots of love,her dedication at church, funny moments and loads and loads of fun. I would not of survived this past year without the love and support of a very special person in mine and Olivia's life, her Godmother Megan, who has been an almost constant sorce of love and compassion, Olivia gets very excited and squeals if I say to her where is Aunty Meegs she knows Megan loves her and is always happy to dive into her arms for cuddles. Thank you Megan for taking such an important role in Livvy-bugs life.

As Ladybugs birthday draws closer I am reflective of the past and how much of a struggle it was to except she was on the way to join our family, our family seems to be complete now that Livvy is a part of it. I am so thankful and greatful for my happy healthy princess. I cannot imagine life without her except that it would be very incomplete.

Happy First Birthday my darling I hope you feel spoilt, special and above all very very loved and wanted on your special day. All my love to you sweet baby girl!!

I am a sausage sizzle day helper.

2010-03-18T13:36:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was sausage sizzle day at Peter's school and I had put my hand up to be a canteen helper for that morning. I was really nervous about this...why you might ask? Well my past experience with helping out at Mini's school fundraisers were not very fun. The mothers can be very clicky with one and other and given I didn't know anyone well I was left out not even spoken to by the other mums. So I was hesitant to put my hand up but I really want to be involved with school activitys where posible so I decided to give it another shot. I am so so glad I did!!

I had a great morning, there were about 8 or so other mum's and the canteen manager we all pitched in together and managed to get over 700 students thier orders of sausage sizzle, chips and a soft drink ready. My jobs were napkin folder lol I folded 800 napkins in about 15 mins I am so hard core, lol, also I squished cardboard boxes that the drinks where in, I counted out slices of bread and helped divide them up among the lunch order baskets for each grade BOO YEAH!!!

Once all the baskets were packed it was delievery time I ofcourse swipped Peter's room basket promptly intent on dropping his basket off and being able to spy on him and maybe blow him a kiss (as he is a prep I can still get away with this I imagine by about grade 2 it wont be cool to have your mum blowing you kisses) however my grand plans were shot down by his Teacher Mrs H who opened the classroom door enough for her to reach out and take the basket from my arms thanking me she began to close the door.. but wait my internal mummy voice was screamming I didn't get to blow my kisses....oohhh I was so cross but I did peek through the window and saw my little man hard at work over his book. I am guessing she didn't want me interupting the classroom flow but gee I really wanted to be able to see my boy and after all it's all about me ...yeah right.

I continued on with more delieverys and was done about 20 minutes later. I was thanked several times for my contributions to the morning and I have to say I felt very appreciated and feel as thought I have made some new connections at the school, which is great. I was so worried I would not be even spoken to so to have several mum's not only acknowledge that I was there but engage in conversaton with me was wonderful. I will be raising my hand for helper again at the next "special lunch" and whilst I think canteen duty wont become a "love of my life" I did enjoy my experience and meeting new people.

A big thanks to my bestie Sue who watched my two little cherubs at home for me so I could focus on what I was doing at school without fussing with 2 babies, Sue even did my dishes what a legendary chickee babe!!

Mikey Turns 2

2010-03-09T16:25:00.002+11:00

Yesterday was our Little man Mikey's, 2nd birthday. We decided to celebrate with a small

afternoon tea with our family and a couple of close friends..despite our thinking it would be a small event once you add our 4 children, Bestie Meegs 3 boys and our good friends Kat and Andys 2 children your up to 9 children within 3 familys so small goes to big and loud quickly, but also creates lots and lots of fun and laughter.

Mikey had a wonderful morning playing with his new car mat and cars or as he calls it his "road road" after play time and lunch it was a quick nap before his friends and Nanna L arrived with the birthday cakes she had made for Michael.

After he had awoken from his nap and exclaimed with joy over his Makka Pakka cake, his guests started to arrive and the fun began. Michael had a wonderful time playing with Drew and Justin with his new car garage and dancing to his wiggles dvd from Uncle Adam and Aunty Pam.
Like most partys the food was a huge hit with the kids and it wasn't long before all the chips lollys and cupcakes were gone and the sasuage rolls and pies were snatched up quickly...the adults needing to move quick in competition with our little ones appetites.

The adults well.... the male adults got into a discussion about poker and the rules and merits of the game whilst the females chatted about parenting styles schools and tried to resolve the mior disagreement that popped up as 9 children played together.

Soon enough it was time for cake and singing Happy Birthday which Mikey loved he danced along as we sung to him and gave himself a round of applause shouting hooray it was incredibly sweet.

The tireds were setting in amounst the kiddies as it hit 4pm and the afternoon tea slowly wound down. We all had a wonderful time and want to thank everyone for coming and for Mieys gifts. He finished the day with a warm bubble bath and then some "tato gems' (potato gems) for dinner. Thanks to those who helped us celebrate our lil mans day and for your birthday wishes.

Sue's Birthday Dinner

2010-03-08T20:34:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was one of my besties Sue's birthday, we (Meegs and I ) surprised her with a celebration dinner at Stack's,... for those of you who don't know Stacks is the most awesomest pancake place in Melbourne with seriously scrummy foods, it is a fav place of ours so Meegs and I thought it only fitting to have dinner here for Sue's
birthday. Unknown to Sue was that we had invited another good friend of ours along to join our little party and that we had gotten there early with balloons, a birthday banner and a birthday crown to set up a fun party table for her. It was funny watching her reaction as she saw what we had done, Sue pretending to be embarassed was really funny cause she doesn't get shy generally, but watching her hide at the door was hilarious.

We all had a fab night and it was fun to spoil a terriffic chick who totally deserves it cause she is always spoiling someone else. Some of the birthday loot incuded flowers chocolates and a pretty necklace. As usual the food was amazing and Kat and Sue decided to try a cocktail called a Mad hatter, these were very cool looking and yummy (but strong) tasting drinks. The night was filled with lots of chatter, some wine love and lots and lots of laughter. Love you Sue and we hope you had a great night, we sure did.

Now here are some things you need to know about Sue:

Sue talks during movies,.. which I love because I do the same thing and it helps me process what I am watching,...also we just love to talk

She is my eldest son's Godmother, whom he choose for himself and I think it is just awesome to see them together he loves her very much.

She has a very wicked sense of humor and is quick with a quip.

Sue is incredibly generous with her time, helping people out with lifts to the doctors, house cleanning and babysitting whenever she can, all this while working and being a mum to 4 of her own children.

She can order food at the movies using an English accent and not laugh, it's really funny.

Sue is a fun loving, life is for living kind of woman, she is passionate, caring, sensitive (but doesn't cry) loving, generous a wonderful best friend, fantastic mum, woman of God who is someone that I admire respect and love.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUE XOXOXOX

Almost 2 and all about Mikey

2010-02-25T22:22:00.009+11:00

Since Master Mikey is about to turn 2 I decided that this post would be dedicated to him and share some random facts about him as I did when it was master 5 birthday.

Mikey's daddy chose his name when I was about 4 months pregnant and we both fell in love with it. From then on we refered to him as Michael when he was born the name fit him perfectly.

Michael has had 1 hair cut in his entire 2 years, he has the most amazing loong blond curly hair and we intend to keep growing it...and yes I do get told what a pretty little girl I have but we don't mind.

He was by far the easiest and shortest labour and delivery I have had (3 hours from start to finish)

I found out I was pregnant with Mikey whilst at Hillsong ( A christian conference my old church attends in Sydney) We were so excited that by then end of the day about 100 people knew.. all before our families!

Mikey's latest trick is to look very cute and hum when he is in trouble, I am not sure what made him start doing this but it is very funny and as soon as I say his name if I am correcting him or if he goes into our office which he knows he isn't allowed in he will hum when he sees me and looks very innocent, it is very hard to be cross when he does this, and I think he has worked this out.

Michael is VERY affectionate and protective of his little sister, we were all worried he would be very jealous of her given there is only 12 months between them but he loves her to bits and pats her like a dog saying "my bubba"

He loves the night garden...I do not,

Mikey has pooped more times in the bath then the 3 other children put together...seriously he does it like once a fortnight and it is really gross and then he cries "yuck yuck" well don't poop in the bath then!!!!

Mikey loves to draw and we need to be very careful about leaving anything he can draw with lying about as he will draw on the walls, t.v or carpet, currently our lounge room wall has black texta all over it mixed with red pencil and some eyeliner pencil,..nice job buddy.

He is very much an out doors boy and will spend hours playing outside with his toy car, or in the cubby house both of which are very much loves of his life. He also enjoys the parks nearby and as we walk or drive past one he will shout out "go play go play" it is adorable.

Michael gave us a huge scare when he was a couple weeks old, he was diagnosed with have low muscle tone,it took a long time for him to be strong enough to gain weight and strengthen up but as of his 12 month check in with his paediatrician he has developed normal muscle tone and is a strong healthy boy.

Michael has the sweetest most easy going personality out of all 4 of our children, he would be the most relaxed. He is incredibly loved by his family and extended family friends. Mikey has a great giggle, gives wonderful hugs and is a huge blessing to our family.

Little man as you head toward your 2nd birthday know that you are loved, your family adore you for the wonderful unique and special little boy you are. I thank God for your presence in my life,darling son you are loved.

Lovely Bugs is born.

2010-02-15T14:59:00.013+11:00

Ever since I got my sewing machine a couple years ago friends and strangers have commented to me about things I make especially the toys and blankets I have made for the babies, I often get told you should start a business or you should sell those,...so after much encouragement from my husband and friends "LOVELY BUGS" handmade toys and goods has been born. This is the name I have chosen to use for my goodies as you all know I love ladybugs things. I have been thinking of diving in and doing this for a while but wanted to have some stock ready to go.
Now this may totally turn out to be a wasted venture and completely suck but I figure you never know till you try and I love being creative and making things so this will give me the opportunity to do so, and if it fails well you'll all be getting hand made gifts for your birthdays and your children's birthdays. My motivation for doing this is not money, anyone who knows me well will already know this. I simply love to sew and create things and this is giving me motivation and a positive and productive outlet to do so.

My kids and I are totally hooked on taggies..(blankets, balls and toys with ribbons on them) and I have made a variety of these in different colours and sizes. I also make children's tutu's, crinkle toys (toys that make that lovely scrunchy noise baby's love so much) and very cute head bands. Library bags and toiletry bags, loofa's and wheat (heat) bags in different sizes and colours for males and females. I am currently working on a facebook page for Lovely bugs should be up and running tomorrow at some point the page will have more photo's and information. So check it out if you wanna.

Megan says: Oh you're just a SAHM? I don't think so!

2010-02-12T09:29:00.006+11:00

Most of you have seen the name Meegs or Megan on my blog she is my best buddy and a love of my life, yesterday she wrote and posted a very inspiring piece of writing on FB given Meegs doesn't blog (yet) I decided to high jack her writing and post it here. It is really an awesome piece and I felt it must be shared with others. It expresses Meegs thoughts and views on being a stay at home mum, a role that is incredibly important, so here it is enjoy and be inspired!!

Oh you're just a SAHM? I don't think so!

Recently i have felt that my "status" in society has been questioned. I know I know, here goes another stay at home mum having a rant about how people think less of her! But seriously SAHM does not stand for Stay at home Moron!
Why do some people think that because i choose to stay at home, and am very blessed to be in the situation that its a choice, that my brain has gone AWOL and I have no idea what is happening in the "real" world?
Why do they think that I can't hold a decent conversation without reverting to baby talk?
Why can I not have a valid opinion on a topic?
Why do they think that my life revolves only around my children and cooking and cleaning.

Yes, my children are my focus literally 24 hrs a day. But working mum's focus on their children 24 hrs a day too. Usually they are working to provide for their children. I am not saying that I am any better or worse than working mums. I myself have been a working mum and its bloody hard!

But just because I stay at home I still think and choose and try to better myself and broaden my horizons so to speak!

And here's a statement that is very hard to admit too sometimes. I like being a SAHM! Shock horror, i said it! Not because I'm lazy, definitely not, but because I like being able to take my kids to school, pick them up, help with homework, do reading at school and be with my toddler all day.
I have the choice to do that and i relish that!

Here's something else that's a bit shocking to some, i breastfeed my toddler! How very hippy of me! And I enjoy it, its our special time together 1st thing in the morning and just before bed. Just him and I, relaxing together, one on one. If you think there is no benefit to it for him or me so be it. I don't really care! If you don't agree, okay, your choice. if you don't like me for it, that's okay too! I'll just grow my own people, cos i can do that! LOL

I like my husband being the head of my home! I don't want that responsibility thank you very much! We discuss everything together and make our decisions together but if there was to be a title as such, he can have it!

However my kids aren't the only thing I have in my life. I have family that I love dearly and like to spend time with. I have AMAZING friends in my life, some with kids, some without, some married, some single, some old, some young. I am friends with people who work , stay at home, have religious beliefs, are atheists, are gay and straight. I don't care what you do or don't do, I don't judge you, that's not my place, if i like you its for you!

My integrity has been questioned recently too. Through this trying time I have realised a few things that have been a long time coming.
I AM a decent person
I AM forgiving
I AM a good friend/ daughter/ granddaughter/
I am strong enough to stand up for what i believe in! WOOHOO!
I can admit when i was wrong and am willing to listen to others opinions on matters that are important to them or me.
I am not faultless and I am not intending to sound that way. I am after all only human! But I am willing to admit my mistakes.

Anyway, that is my vent for today!
If you have read this, thank you for taking the time to do so!

Peter's first day at "big school" 2010

2010-02-07T17:35:00.001+11:00

Peter had his first day of big school last week. He started on Thursday and unfortunately it was not a great start. He began the morning very excited all happy smiles ready to go to preps and meet some new friends and see his teacher Miss H again. Daddy drove Mummy Peter and the two bubba's up to the school dropping us of at the front car park with 10 minutes till bell time having previously been told that the prep grades would be starting at 9am along with the rest of the grades. As it turned out there was some miss-communication between staff and admin and school for preps didn't actually start till 9:30am, this messed with us a bit because mummy had the babies to contend with as well as an emotional 5 year old for the next half an hour.
We passed the time with a wonder rounds the playground and a couple of rice crackers I had stashed in the pram (thank god!!) Finally the big moment arrived ,the classroom door opened and out stepped a complete stranger!!!! Peter looked at me and I back at him as we listened to an announcement saying Miss H was not well and unable to be at school today...as you can imagine this did not go down well with the parents or students and Peter built up his tantrum from a level 5 to a full blown level 10!!!! Once I got him inside the classroom and we had his bag and hat on its hook I got him seated on the mat with the other children and with the help of the teachers aid I managed to de-tangle myself from him and leave him crying, yes I felt like a crappy mother but I also knew that within 2 minutes of my leaving he would of stopped and settled a lot better then if I had stayed there..(which is exactly what happened) As I walked the short distance home I asked God to watch over my boy and to help me be calm. It began to rain just as we reached the house and continued to do so for most of the day. I felt very sad for the preppies who had been looking forward to starting school with their teacher ready for a big adventure and the teacher was away and now it was raining spoiling any chance of outside play for them. When I picked my very tired boy up at the end of the day he was excited to tell me about what he had done and handed me his newsletters like a very grown up boy *sigh* gone was my baby and replaced was a big boy who had bravely taken his first steps towards the very long years of schooling ahead. I was very proud of him.
This afternoon as we prepare for the school week ahead packing lunch boxes and ironing uniforms I am really hoping and praying for a much better start to the school week for Peter and all the other preps in his grade. Thankfully Miss H will be back on Monday and I know Peter is very excited to see her again. Thanks to all on Facebook for your good wishes for Peter he really like being read out your messages.

Having it all..so over rated!!

2010-01-31T22:00:00.000+11:00

After having an in depth conversation with my bestie Meegs about our roles as wives and woman I came to the conclusion that as a woman I really don't want to "have it all." Now I realise this particular blog entry may get the feminists up in arms and that's okay discussion is healthy as long as it stays friendly :-) My personal opinion is that this modern version of aggressive womanhood has not really done a whole lot help the advancement of woman, we still have to work harder then a man to achieve the same kind of status or perks in the work place.. because as woman we are still seen as the weaker sex and need to prove ourselves worthy of the same position as a male the burning of bra's certainly didn't change that all it did was make our boobs hang low. Now I am not by any means an expert on any sort of feminism culture or history so please don't start slinging mud at me or my blog this is just my opinion, thoughts and feeling you don't have to agree. But I kinda feel like some aspects of the feminist movement have made things a little harder on woman, the demands of a stay at home mother are incredibly tough in this role mothers are: teachers, care givers, comforters, cooks, cleaners, gardeners, entertainment providers, makers of craft activities etc etc we shape and mold the life and minds of our children..who are adults in the making this is a huge responsibility, and in my opinion one that is not given enough validation or recognition. However this is seen by many as not enough and that a career outside the home is also required to make our role as woman complete. So we strive so hard to have it all.

Having it all is an expression I have heard used a lot in lots of different contexts. As woman we seem to think we can "have it all" the career, the kids, run a home as well as social commitments. Well I don't want to have it all at least not the worldly view or ideals of what having it all entails. I watch my Darling husband struggle to spread his time equally with a demanding job, 4 children, a wife, social commitments and church obligations and it is not easy. Not all commitments are able to be honored and someone or something often misses out. I want to be the type of mother who makes promises to her children and keeps them not having to change their schedule around as other things arise which seem to take importance over their needs. No career path, job offer or social commitment will ever come before the needs of my children and husband. I want to be the type of friend who doesn't cancel on her buddies because of "work" and I want to be the type of Christian who can come before God with an open heart and a clear mind not all weighed down with more responsibility and "stuff" in my life that I don't need to complete me as a woman.

Sure as a working mum we can out source the house work and ironing have a cleaning person come do the house chores and hire a nanny or stick the children in childcare if we choose to go to work but then that's cheating in my books we really aren't having it all, we are paying people to have it for us. I don't believe children who are in childcare full time receive the love, attention or benefits that children who are at home with their parent/s do, and if the government got off their arses and realised how much work actually goes into raising children and made some sort of financial contribution to household incomes then perhaps more mums who want to stay home but are not able to due to loss of income could do so. When I had my eldest child there was no option for me I was a single mum and had to work to support my child so she was put into childcare full time and I worked spending little time with her in the mornings as we prepared for the work day and evenings we were both tired and it was dinner, bath and bed. Malinda turned out to have a hearing problem and developmental delays but these went unnoticed by a busy and tired working mum and childcare centre staff not equipped at detecting such things.

Call me old fashioned or even stupid but I still want my husband to open the door for me, to defend me in a fight, help me kill spiders when they come any where near me, and treat me like a princess. That's not to say I don't have opinions on things and I am certainly not backwards in coming forwards to express those ( as you can see) but I also have no problem submitting to the authority God has placed on my husbands shoulders as a man, leader and head of our house, NO I am NOT a doormat but a supportive partner. David and I partner in our married life parenting our tribe as a team, however the running of the house is my responsibility just as the role of financial provider for our family is David's. While I want and need my husbands support in my various undertakings I don't want him to be a doormat either, support is one thing but I want my man to be a man. I am not interested in having a partner who has no back bone and no opinions of his own. Belittling, swearing at or gossiping salaciously about our men doesn't make us stronger woman, I think it makes you weaker, is disrespectful and low class. Working things out as a team however and maintaining a healthy respect for each others contributions to the marriage/relationship and loving our similarities and differences I feel is a more reasonable approach to married life.

I am happy and content spending my days breastfeeding my daughter, singing songs and doing craft with my children, giving the house a tidy through (some days better then others) and making yummy meals for us as a family at the end of the day.These are the things that fulfill me as a woman and are my version of having it all. Yes I like some quiet me time and sometimes the hours till bedtime get counted down from about 10am but it is certainly not the end of the world if I don't always get that time on my own or if the kids refuse to go to bed when I think they should... however it would be the end of the world if I had to miss out on watching the loves of my life grow and develop into awesome young people and then adults for the sake of a career that someone else thought I should have.

School holiday fun...who needs money!!

2010-01-31T13:22:00.017+11:00

So school holidays have officially ended with term 1 starting up tomorrow. Usually I am very happy to see the end of the holidays with 6 weeks on my own with 4 children it is usually a difficult time in trying to keep them all entertained and happy. In the past I have dragged them round all over then place in an attempt to keep the masses happy... children's shows, the movies, shopping trips, special lunches and dvd hiring, not much time had been spent really playing at home or at a park as this is seen as boring. But this year with the expense of Christmas for 4 children plus 3 family birthdays in January and the returning of school for one child and the starting of school for another our cash resources have been a little light and so trips out and about have not happened much these school holidays.
Now here's the kicker...the children actually didn't mind it!!! I am left pondering if my shelling out loads of cash in the past to keep them tribe happy on holidays was a big waste of money hhmmmm.

This year we have had some great family fun just hanging out at home. Spending very minimal amounts of money yet the children have had a blast. One afternoon was spent blowing soap bubbles which was awesome. It was amazing to hear the shrieks and giggles as the 2 older children blew bubbles and Mikey (almost 2) ran around trying to catch them ( also eat them and pop them) I was very surprised at how long they actually spent doing this as in the past outside activity's usually lose their appeal within 5 minutes, but this went on for nearly 2 hours.

We have had several visits to Ballam park and also to our local parks, we are very fortunate as where we live there are 3 different parks all with about 5 to 7 minutes walk from our house. On one of our Ballam park trips we met up with Megan and her 3 boys for a play and some morning tea. It was an awesome morning not to hot and as usual the children all got on beautifully. After the park my 4 cherubs and I walked up to Karingal Hub and we were treated to a free Ninja Turtles concert/show which was a huge hit with the 2 boys but not so popular with Malinda who is 10 and so NOT into Ninja Turtles.

We have also been a bit more social in our hosting skills and have had several friends around for morning tea and of course playing!! One morning was spent with Jo and her 3 little ladies Molly, Lucy and Ruby. Peter and Molly are betrothed and very in love so they always relish time spent together. This visit started out as a morning tea catch up be we ended up eating hot chippies in the park and having an awesome time on the swings and sea saws near our place it was a wonderful day.

We have spent time with my gorgeous Goddaughter Iris who I got to babysit one day...this is a rare treat as Miss Iris is usually very attached to her mummy so I felt honoured that she was so excited about coming to have a play for the day at my house. She enjoyed spending time with my children, lunch, trying out Mikey's cot and also a bubble bath at the end of the day, I really loved having her for the day.
So apart from park trips the kids have enjoyed using up a bucket of chalk on the driveway..now this can get a little aggro as Mikey loves to scribble and draw anywhere...including over the "awesome designs" of the 5 and 10 year old so directing him away from their art work and into a space for his own was a bit tricky and in the end the older 2 children realised it n unreachable goal to shoo him away and allowed their work to be enhanced by Mikey's creativity. Again this was a very cheap activity and one that the kiddies did every couple of days with great joy and enthusiasm.... our driveway remains covered in chalked up hopscotches and the beautiful creations my cherubs came up with. (Just a tid bit...watching my very uncoordinated 5 year old try and hopscotch was a highlight of my day..it was hilarious but I kept the giggles in, in an attempt to continue to encourage him to be active and not glued to the t.v) As you can see the children got on really well together had lots of fun playing/drawing with the chalk. It really warmed my heart to watch them all play together at home and actually enjoy and want to spend time together...for those of you who have kids we all know that some times this isn't the case especially with Malinda who likes lots of personal space..and Peter likes to right up in that space can often be a source of friction.

We also celebrated Peter's 5th birthday whilst on school holidays and he enjoyed a visit from his buddy Seth and my bestie Meegs, Nanny L dropped in and we had cake when Hubby got home from work. Again we were fairly low key with this some time at home and a homemade chocolate cake. Malinda and Peter spent the morning drawing together and having birthday cuddles it was awesome and very touching to again see them getting on so well. Malinda and Peter also enjoyed having sleep overs at Uncle Adam and Aunty Pam's place (my big brother and his wife) spending time with their cousins and also had their cousins sleep over at our house. Which makes for crowded, loud delicious fun!! Over all I would have to say this has been the best school holidays yet and whilst I am very excited for my 2 eldest cherubs to be starting school this week I will miss them loads.