Wednesday, October 17, 2012

God's wisdom at hand.... pun intended

God works in mysterious ways, I know we have all heard that saying before, however there is nothing mysterious about the way he has been working in my life recently, this week was yet another confirmation of that, that even when I can't see it or don't really understand what is happening that God has it all under control and knows exactly what he is doing and why he is doing it.

Romans 8:28 says: and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I realise this post is a bit all over the place so I shall attempt to give it some structure.

The past 5-6 months have been a difficult time for me injury wise.. I developed chronic and continuous pain in my right hand which has spread up through my wrist and arm, it hurts.. everyday it hurts to varying degree's but always.. it hurts.  So it has been a time of hospital visits, G.P visits, x rays in and out of casts, braces and slings, an MRI, steroid injections several visits to a plastic surgeon, a case conference surrounded by 15 or so plastic surgeons, visits to an upper limb therapist who poked me full of dry needles each week (which was awesome for pain relief by the way) but did not treat the actual problem. My pain remains.

During this time we also decided to start looking at buying a new house,.. * no this is not a tangent the two topics coincide I promise**.... We had been renting a small house after selling 12 months earlier and as our lease drew near to ending we thought we would look and see what the market was doing and whether  it was the right time to buy or not. We found a couple of houses we really liked one in particular we fell in love with and started to check out our finances and our options in order to put in an we did this we began to battle with the thoughts of was this the right house, was this the right time, financially how would this work.. we knew God had the perfect house for us ready and waiting for when the time was right.. was this the right time.. I struggled with this.. I REALLY loved the house we were looking at.. it seemed perfect, big bedrooms lovely outdoor areas loads of space and a massive kitchen, I felt for sure God was providing us this house that met all our needs and 99% of our wants,.. there was just that little issue of the would take every bit of our savings and money from the sale of our house plus take us to our very limits on applying for a loan to buy this house. Yes we would have a beautiful home but it would really really stretch us financially. We sought council and after prayer decided that this wasn't the home for us and that it was not the time to buy and have since rented another house which is beautiful and just as spacious and comfortable as the house we were intending to buy.

 I could not help but have a few moments of thinking why would this beautiful house be available and God not provide a way for us to buy it. I firmly believe that God provides all our needs 

Philippians 4:19 — But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

and wants to give us the desires of our heart  

Psalm 37:4 - Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

This house was definitely a desire of our heart but we felt strongly we were being told no and to wait on buying a house.

 Back to my wrist/hand. Things the past few weeks with my hand have gotten increasingly worse, the pain has intensified and I have developed tremors and numbness on and off throughout the hand and several finger, I had been referred to yet another upper limb specialist who was a little confused as to why I was seeing a plastic surgeon and not an orthopaedic surgeon.. (and now so am I, feels like I wasted my time and a big chunk of money for no answers) This doctor referred me on to see an orthopaedic surgeon who was able to look at all the tests x-rays and MRI and actually give me a diagnosis and an action plan of how to treat it.  So the diagnosis is I have a disease called Keinbocks disease and this has caused vascular necrosis of my Lunate bone..which means I have a lack of blood flowing to certain areas and bones in my wrist and this has caused the bone to begin dying (hence the extreme pain) and also my x-ray was misread the first time by the plastic's doc and one of the other bones in my wrist is shorter and therefore not supporting my hand properly which is most likely what caused the Keinbocks disease to take hold. The great news is that this can be fixed... the bad news is it takes surgery to fix it... my arm is going to be broken and they will remove a piece of bone from the wrist and place a metal plate into my arm therefore aligning all the bones properly and hopefully restoring the blood flow and stopping the necrosis.

We do not have private health cover. To go on a public waiting list I am looking at a waiting time of around 2 years since it is categorised as non emergency despite being in sometimes extremely agonising pain. I cannot wait 2 years, I will end up addicted to pain medication or going insane front the pain and it will get worse the longer it is left untreated. So we are paying for the surgery. Now this is how I know God has things in control, We have to pay for everything the doctors fee's, the hospital room the anaesthesiologist.. everything coming out of our pockets and very little coming back from Medicare a quote was given today for around 7 and 1/2 thousand dollars for this surgery. 

I thank God that we have this money all ready to go. That he guided us away from spending everything we had on a house.. a house that would bring stress despite its beauty. If we were given this quote and had bought the house there is no way possible we could afford this surgery and we would not be able to get a loan to pay for it either as we would of borrowed already to our maximum limits. I would of been stuck on a public waiting list for 2 years in pain suffering everyday. Instead because we sought out God and actually listened to what he said I will be having surgery in a couple of weeks to fix the damage in my arm, yes it will be painful for a time after as I recover however that pain will be the pain of well worth it-ness (yes I made that word up)

I am so grateful that God is the God of today, tomorrow and yesterday. That he cares about me and is looking out for me and my family in all areas of our lives both big and small. I am grateful that he provides our needs and places people in our lives who have biblical wisdom and also care about the decisions we make and how the outcomes of those decisions affect the rest of our lives.
As a friend said I will have the rest of my life to save for a house, at least now I will be able to enjoy it pain free and that is far more important to me then simply having a house I can be in and not fully enjoy because I am suffering with pain.

 My hospital papers arrived today and my surgery should take place in the next few weeks, I am so so happy that I will be having this operation as soon as I am.. made possible only because we are covering the cost ourselves, which is made possible only because God spoke and thankfully we listened.


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