Submission in marriage.. it's actually what I choose.

Often the question of submission comes up in my circle of friends. As a christian women in a Christan marriage, I submit,(sometimes with a grumble) to my husbands authority as head of our house, knowing that he has been charged with the responsibility of taking care of our family's needs emotional, practical and financial, a huge responsibility and one that he takes very seriously.

Submission is a word which can be described/defined as “willing conciliation.” That means that the wife should be “willing,” not coerced. Wives respect their husbands. Husbands are to be considerate of their wives. BOTH partners should be willing to “put the other’s interests above his/her own” as Philippians 2 describes. The woman should be willing to submit to her husband not be unwilling and NEVER forced. The man should be a loving, servant leader – accountable and responsible to God and his family. A loving leader leads – doesn't manipulate or pressure. I am grateful and blessed to be part of a loving covenant marriage, I am proud to submit to my husband, it doesn't make me weak or stupid, but instead gives me the confidence to know I can express myself how I choose and know I will always be valued and respected by the most amazing man, my husband.

I know that people who don't follow this biblical Principal can have a misunderstood perception of what submission really is and why we as women do it. The bible Say's "wives submit to your husband" Ephesians 5:22... now I know many people who misuse this verse and only focus on the first part about wives submitting to their husbands, but the verse continues and says "and husbands love you wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Ephesians 5:25. This I see is a huge honour and also a huge responsibility, I mean Christ loved the church passionately, Christ died for the church, he gave his EVERYTHING for the church, and knowing that my husband has been called as a Christian man to love me the same way blows my mind. Knowing and being completely secure that my husband loves me passionately that he would give his everything for me, that he would die for me, means so much more to me than not having the final say over buying a new piece of furniture or DVD...

A good friend of mine describes submitting to her husband as "equal partners with different roles in the marriage". I love this definition, I think some people have the impression that submitting to your husband means you give away your brain.. your right to say no or have an opinion in your own life. I can categorically say this is not true, I still have (and always have had) very strong opinions and I am free to express them and know I am heard when I do so, sometimes my husband may agree with them sometimes he may disagree, but ALWAYS I am heard, loved and above all respected! These again are the things I value most for my man, rather then having an argument over a new purchase or dinner out I understand that my husband has his reasons for saying no to certain things and that he does it because he has a responsibility to look after our family unit as a whole and may see the bigger picture for us, one that I might not see at the time,... My husband ( a beautiful man) expresses his opinions or disagreements with me in a respectful tone and manner which lets me know that he loves me and has heard my voice and values my opinion and input.

I see my husband loving me as Christ loves the church everyday, I see it as he gives up time with his friends to ensure that I get to spend time with my friends having nights out at craft group or going to dinner, I see it as he goes to work an puts in a full day working hard to financially provide for us, and then comes home to a house full of people and doesn't complain because he knows it make me happy to entertain, I see it as he works through out family budget and always makes sure that there is some extra cash on hand so I can do an unplanned shop at spotlight or take my bestie to a movie. I see him sacrifice over and over for me and our children and I am astounded at how much he gives of himself to me and I know that submitting to him is so worth it as I am loved and cherished as Christ loved and cherished his church, passionately completely with his everything.